About 10%-15% of all the people (and the higher mammals) are highly sensitive. It’s a fact and we all know this.

The problem is that there is a big misunderstanding about it. Most of the people see HSPs as poor hypersensitive people who always need to hide from the world, and everything is annoying to them. Also, as people with low self-esteem and many problems.

And this is not just most of the people that think like this, it’s the HSPs themselves who think they are a bunch of problems and nothing else!

People read the wrong instructions manual about their sensitivity!

Hasselblad 500 EL

Let's use an example:

The camera they sent to the moon was a Hasselblad 500EL, one of the most powerful photo cameras of it’s time. Specially developed for space travel and for space and moon conditions also adapted for the difficult suits of the astronauts.

Now imagine for using this camera to read the instruction manual of a cheap camera, let’s say an Instamatic.

The result will be that nobody will be able to use it, they will think that it cannot do anything, not even take pictures, and if the camera had a consciousness would believe that it’s good for nothing therefore had all the reasons in the world to feel depressed and constantly overwhelmed by all the crazy ideas about its abilities that, according to the manual, do not exist.

Sounds ridiculous? This is exactly what happened with Highly Sensitive People.

We are people with superpowers, feeling what other people cannot, sensing things that don’t exist for usual people, thinking a way that nobody who is not HSP can understand and getting inspired by... well, nothing, according to the non-sensitive.

And this is not enough, we also believe what they tell us we are.

When we were kids, of course we needed more time to develop the complicated system we are running under, so we were not ready to get out and impress anyone.

And of course, the people who had nothing much to develop were coming out like lizards, ready to live and hunt the moment they came out of the egg, looking smart and bullying everyone who was not.

This is the wrong manual, this is the wrong message we got!

So, what are our problems?

1 We feel what other people around us feel. Empathy.
It’s not a problem as such, it’s a real superpower.
It becomes a problem when we take over these feelings like they are ours.
Solution: These problems are not ours, observe them, feel them, support the owner but it’s not your problem. Keep your distance!

2. We get a lot of information from our intuition and inspiration center.
Also not a problem, unless we ask the opinion of people who don’t understand, so we have contradicting information.
Our intuition always tells us the truth, if we manage to separate this information from logic, beliefs and obligations running in our mind.
Solution: It’s just a matter of practice and support from a coach to untangle this mess and find out which part is important.

3. Almost nobody believes what we know and understand about the world and what happens around us!
Solution: Simple, we don’t share it, unless we know that they understand or accept our knowledge, or it’s ok for them to disagree with us and respect it.

4. We get overwhelmed by loud noises, much light and too much information.
This is natural, as we look into the world in a different way, much deeper than the “normal” people, we have much more information than everyone else. Come to think of it, also a superpower.
Solution: Escape, get some rest as much as possible, find an excuse for being alone for 5 minutes, pick up your phone and pretend you have a long phone call so people leave you in peace for 10 minutes, just run to the bathroom if necessary.

There are many “problems” the HSPs have, but if you look at history most of the great things happened by people who were thinking, feeling and sensing just the way you do. Some of them found ways to solve these problems, others just lived with them, some of them even suffered because they didn’t know anything about their sensitivity and the solutions they had. But nothing stopped them from doing great things one way or the other.

Now you have knowledge, lots of articles and books written about you, lots of people ready to help you and lots of simple solution to your “complicated” problems.

Your real manual is out there, and you have it in your hands. Just read it.

Find out how your amazing complicated and very efficient system is working and do your miracles out there.

Let's find out together what is your real instruction manual

 

wormholeI know, the title sounds strange, I mean how can someone make dreams, plans and wish things for the past? But sit down and think. Yes! Everyone does it and very often.

Making dreams for the past means you work or play with your regrets. All the things you wanted to do back then, and you didn’t. And not only that, often you create brand-new dreams, things that you want now, as grownup, but for the time you were kid or teenager.

How many of us would like to have a childhood full of success, to be the most popular in school, in the university, to have the girls/boys we didn’t have back then, to have maybe a rock band, more successful than the Rolling Stones, ok maybe the same successful, let’s not exaggerate.

How many of us want to correct the mistakes of the past, the moment we didn’t dare, the moment we made the wrong movement and took the wrong way, the moment we didn’t face the challenge but listened to the parents, friends, teachers or bullies (sometimes I wonder who is who) and made ourselves small and let the bigger, older, more important get the opportunities.

And talking about the bullies, as sensitive people we know the bullies very well, and we wish things were different. And the funniest of all, we try to make it different. Now for the past. We try to say different things, to be smarter, to confront them and make them leave us in peace, or even better, sit on the side and watch us act and get successful.

To really describe the actions, we want to do now, for the past, we must create new tenses in grammar.

Now you are expecting from me to ask you to stop doing it, to live in the now, to plan for the future and just keep the past in your memory.

But I won’t.
Making plans for the past, wishing things were different, is a completely natural function. We all want to correct our memories, we all want to feel good about our history. Often not only our personal but our family’s or our country’s, even for the whole human race.

Do it, as long as it’s fun. Do it as long as it stays fun. Use it to let go of your regrets, your pain or the feelings about your broken dreams. Since you cannot change these things just play with them.

But!
Don’t take the whole thing seriously. Imagine it’s real, imagine that your past was completely different but learn how to return to reality unhurt. Because what you HAVE done is equally important, even if it doesn’t seem so. What you have done, your successes and your lessons, they have a huge advantage from the “what if”. They are real, they happened, and they are part of your life and not just your imagination.

So, dreaming about changing the past can be another tool to make your life better and release some steam.

Have fun with it.

And if you observe funny reactions from your ego, here we are!

Love

Antonis

wanderIf you want to understand your sensitivity, the first thing you need to do is to stop reading all these chats from the “so called” Highly Sensitive People. The only thing I found there is a lot of complaints about life, lots of dysfunctions and disorders, how the world is a hostile place, how poor they are and how everyone must pity them.

No, HSP is not about this. If you feel this way you have two options, change the way you see your sensitivity or stop reading this text now and go back to your chats.

When we talk about a sensitive device we talk about a tool so powerful that no other tool can function like this. A highly sensitive radio can receive radio signals that normal radios cannot. A highly sensitive film can make pictures in poor light conditions. Of course, if you expose it to much light you are going to burn these pictures. But if you know how to use it you can make pictures where others are getting dark frames.
Would you call this dysfunction? Why do you call your sensitivity dysfunction?

Your sensitivity is your ability to sense, feel and understand things better than others do.

You are not unlucky, you are gifted.

I know, nobody asked you to have it. But if you think of it, nobody asked you where to be born, your gender, your nationality or your family. Nobody asked you if you should be born rich or poor, lucky or unlucky. Nobody asked you to be born in general! It just happened, and you are trying to make the best out of it.

So, your sensitivity is a gift to you, or rather a tool that you can use. And believe me, if you learn how to use it, it’s a blessing and a miracle.

So why many are just complaining instead of enjoying this gift? The reason is that they try to understand their sensitivity through the words of people who are not sensitive. Duh! I’m sure that many people who didn’t understand the relativity theory told Einstein that it was nonsense.
So, stop reading all these chats about how poor you are, also stop listening to the people who don’t know who you are.
Choices? Many!

Connect with sensitive people who are open to the positive aspects of your sensitivity, listen only to people who accept you just the way you are without trying to change you or manipulate you.

Explore your abilities and train your mind to be able to use them. Find books and articles that talk about the positive aspect of sensitivity.


Let's Talk about your Sensitivity

Love

Antonis

question1How often do you hear someone asking you a question and immediately feel uncomfortable? Especially if it has to do with your actions and your life, a question can really hit you like a hammer on the head.
For many people this is a sign that the question is right, touched the right spot etc.

Not for me though!

If you did something and you're not sure if it was right or wrong and someone asks you "why did you do this?" how do you feel? Do you get a kick? Do you feel accused, even though this was not the intention?
Actually when someone asks me "why did you do this?" I always feel there is an accusation there.
One of the most wonderful and powerful books I have read is "Breaking the Rules" by Kurt Wright. In this book he is describing the right question, why it is powerful and useful and will always help you move on.

What is the use of the right question?

The right question will help you move forward, create, feel good, motivate you and give you solutions in the most difficult moments.
The right question will give you the tools for creating effortlessly, whatever you were doing with a lot of struggles will become easy and simple.
The right question will deactivate the analytical and repairing way of thinking and activate the intuitive and creative part.
Will take you away from being busy with trying to correct mistakes, something you can keep you busy for all your life, and take you exactly where you can create the solution you want, the attitude you need and the life you always wanted, if you did, by just shifting your point of view.

What makes the right question right?

The usual mind process is based on a tradition of thousands of years, judging things as right or wrong, bad or good, positive or negative. So if you are thinking, let's say, "I'm not good enough" putting yourself to a negative part of the scale. Maybe you are better than yesterday, but this is not enough, you are still "not good enough". But if you ask the right question, your position on the scale is high, with positive value, because there is not really negative value there.

What does the old way of thinking create?

Actually the most powerful problem, resistance to change.
The old way, the comparison, having a model and putting yourself on the right or left of it, can only create suffering and resistance. Looking how the modeling works, many women try to be beautiful like the top models, and this way they don't see their own value or beauty. Especially now that the photoshop sends the top models more to the top the competition has become impossible. Unhappiness, frustration, low self-esteem and self-confidence make people sick and frozen.

So what is this right question?

As we see the wrong question is based on "why?". It is judging everything and makes everything bad and small since there is always something bigger and better. But if you replace this why with "how?" or "what?" then you have a brand-new way of asking.
For example, if you turn the question "why is it wrong?" with the "how can I make it right?" immediately you ask for instruction and information. You didn't make it wrong or bad, you just want to make it better.
Also if you replace the "why is this wrong?" with "what is right with it?" then immediately you have motivation to find out what is not right yet and make it right.
In reality the "why" question creates a scale with negative value, and negative values don't really exist in nature. To understand what I say, when we talk about negative temperature, we say that it is -10, we talk on the Celsius or Fahrenheit scale and both are relative to a certain temperature points and completely made up. But if you think of absolute temperature, the Kelvin scale starts from zero and goes up. Zero is where there is no atom movement and then it adds.
So the negative comparisons are wrong and create only problems.

How can I use the right question in my life?

I will give you an example. If you program your navigator, GPS or however you call it, you need two things, where you are, something that the machine knows already, and where you want to go, an info you have to give. Nothing else. The way you usually function in everyday life is that you give useless information, like where you don't want to go, what is better and what worse place to go and if you deserve to go there. You (we) are programmed to put a lot of wrong information wherever it's not necessary. And this makes things complicated and painful.
If you use the right question, "How do I do this?" the mind, the right side of the brain, starts immediately offering solutions. Not how to repair the thing you did but how to do what you want.
Try this type of question again and again. "How do I do this?", "how do I go there?", "what do I need to make something?", "what do I have to do in order to be successful?". First of all they are just asking for information and not for comparison or guilt. Secondly they make you feel good, because even if you don't have an answer you are not in a negative value, you stay on zero, so you ask another question. No pain, no guilt, just success, from zero and up.

Where can I use the right question?

Everywhere, at any time. You can replace all the old questions with the new type and see your life change automatically.
Of course, you still have to take action, but this will be much easier if you don't push yourself down to the ground. If you always think "I'm okay and now let's go higher" you will have the energy which will not be spent to useless debates about your value. Navigator: 1) you are here (no value) - you want to go there (positive value since this is your goal). No gasoline? You stay on zero and try to find some ;-)

job2Most of the business today functions on the old way of thinking and asking. If you look around you, most business people and employees hate their jobs no matter how much money they give them. They don't know why but the whole business system is based on comparisons, negative and positive values and always repairing what's wrong instead of creating something right. A lot of unnecessary emotions that are not very pleasant.
Use the guides of the right question and if you need extra help contact me to help you change your way, from where you are (zero or higher) to where you want to be (always higher).

Love

Antonis Remoundos, life coach

antenna1Don't worry, I'm not going to talk about the secret or any other positive affirmation methods. There is some everyday action and way of thinking of us though, that these people took as seeds for this secret and this action and way of thinking is our attitude towards life. Of course, you cannot correct it with wishful thinking and magic spells.

Let's see what am I talking about.
Every day we see hear and feel around us a lot of images, words, emotions and ideas and, of course, like every receiver, we tune to the ones that interest us more. Like, for example, a radio receiver has access to many radio stations in different frequencies, but focuses and hears only one every time, the one the user decided to hear.
Same with us, every day we have many sources of information around us, external or internal (internal I mean we feel them directly from the sender and not through his words or expressions) and we pay attention to a few of them. Some we ignore partly, we know they are there but don't really show interest, others like they don't exist.

For example, I check every day many pages about highly sensitive and see what are people posting there. I see people writing about hope, insights, great ideas and powers in everyday life but also about something special that happened, let's say, today while others are sharing a great deal of pain and fear about their sensitivity and their "condition". But more interesting are the replies. Most of the replies are in alignment with the post, sharing the same or similar, often competing sharing bigger problems and fears.
Of course, I see a few people trying to change the mood and trying to offer a real support, but if you check the likes and the replies, not many pay attention to them.

But for me these are the most interesting.

As you see people tend to synchronize with each other, low energy goes with low energy and high with high. This sounds absolutely normal.
But some are breaking this pattern. They scan all the band, from the lowest to the highest and interact with them, without staying isolated in a small range of frequencies.
And these people are definitely highly sensitive, but what is the difference with them?

Well, if you check the history of humanity, you will find out that some people are stepping out of the crowd. They are stepping out also of their own situation and try to think globally, see and share the big picture. Although they often have the pressure of sensitivity and isolation, the pain of being different and not quite understood and the moments of sadness and depression, they are stepping out.
Especially for sensitive people, this is the most important. Yes you have or you think you have problems, yes often you feel a huge pressure, but this is not part of your nature. And you know what your nature is.
When you feel your special moments, the moments of inspiration and intuition, when you have great ideas for big or small things, when you feel that something must be different about you, when you know that you are here for a reason. This is your nature.
As for the pain, well, you also know where it comes from, but I will remind you again.
When as child you had these great moments I mentioned before, and back then they were huge and very often, if not 100% of your time, and nobody understood what you were talking about although it was natural to you and everyone around you, especially older people, was talking about sickness and medication, financial problems or bad relationships, bad people and all the things they did to them, well... at that point you thought that this is what life is about.

And you decided to synchronize, tune in and be aligned with that. You changed your reception and transmission frequency. And of course as sensitive you had to do it better than the others!

But you see, this is not what life is about. This is small life with small results and meaning.

What can you do?


  • Take in your hand the old, rusty and squeaking knob of your receiver, and try to turn it to the right.
  • If it's not moving, after all these years, use some oil.
  • Move slowly to the right and listen to the change of subjects, feel the change of energy.
    Go higher and hear the great powerful energetic transmissions.
  • Enjoy the difference you feel, allow your body, mind, heart to change the vibrations. Feel the pain and the stretching by using areas of your body and brain that were rusty and stuck.
  • Turn the knob right and left and explore every single frequency around you. Listen to them all.
  • Take energy from the ones with high energy and give to the ones who are lower than you.
  • Allow yourself to be on the top! Stop being synchronized.
  • Be the difference! Be the Transmitter!

    Love

    Antonis

robot1Many self-improvement agents are offering new programs for your mind. New and improved, with many promises for better results, wonderful life, happiness etc.
But are you sure that this is what you need?

First of all if you have old programs running in your head it means that you don't think your original thoughts.
And where did these programs come from? From involuntary affirmations they made you believe. "You are small, you are stupid, you are useless, you don't have the right or the ability", all these things that you used to hear as child made you believe that you are a little creature in a huge universe and you don't have as many rights as you thought when you started thinking.
Do you want more automatic programs coming from new affirmations?

Of course, it will be an improvement if you believe that you are great instead of what you think now, but is this helpful? And is it the truth?
I mean, of course you are great, but trying to prove to yourself that you're a great painter if in reality you are a super philosopher, won't be a big help. You will run the wrong programs again.

And this is what I'm talking about.

No Program At All!

Allow yourself to be free of programs. To be able to look at yourself and around you every day with a fresh look, to be able to see what is actually there instead of what your programs tell you.

This is my philosophy and my method as coach. From me you will get no programs, no affirmations, no new scripts to replace the old ones.

What are the advantages?
Open eyes, you can see what's happening inside and outside of you.
Open heart, no ego to defend, since your ego will be weaker. Ego defends programs because it believes that's what you are. All conflicts, abuse, bullying and even wars are based on programs in the mind.
You will feel good every day because you won't have to wake up and prove that your program is right. Sometimes programs are not right.
Free to create whatever you like and whatever your talent tells you, not your inner program.
Also free to create nothing if you don't feel like, to live a blank day, just enjoying the sun on your face and allowing unfiltered ideas to come in your mind.

Let me help you deprogram your brain from all the limits programs you are forced to have. Because you're unlimited and at any time you can create short term programs just to do what you want that time. And to destroy them afterwards when they don't serve you anymore.

As coach, I always start with letting go of old programs, then helping look who you really are and afterwards we can work on goals and plans. I find it important to work on clear mind, no programs or scripts running, so we can work with reality and common sense. And to my experience this is the best way because the results are permanent and not lasting as long as the program allows them.

Love

Antonis

crowd2It's absolutely normal for sensitive people to feel emotions from people around them. There are ways though that you avoid suffering.

Normally a sensitive person doesn't suffer with empathy, it's an absolutely normal thing and it can be used also as a tool. But if as a child they were trying to force you to feel certain things or avoiding others, you know, "stop being too sensitive", then you start judging the feelings, either they are yours or not.

Even in these case you can find ways to stop suffering.

1. Don't take over these emotions. They are not yours. Always try to remind it to yourself. You are not guilty if someone feels bad, just see it as an information.


2. Let these feeling pass through you and go away. If you try to protect yourself you make a nest and hold on to them. If you let your body and mind be open you will see them going away as they came.

3. Try to recognize and separate these emotions, recognize positive from negative, normal from crazy etc.

4. Play with them. Make stories by observing the surrounding people together with feeling these emotions. It's like when you are in a car, you get less dizzy when you look outside.
Find out who is admiring whom, or even being in love, who hates whom, who finds whom interesting. Also who admires you ;-)

The whole thing is to understand that feelings, just like thoughts, yours or everybody's, are automatic processes, maybe people think that they control them but this is not true. If you realize this you will not take them as seriously as you do now.
Maybe feeling other people can be a tool to help them, but don't try it if you feel resistance from them. You know, many people feel just like you, everyone's feeling.

Love

Antonis

friendsIf you love them back, or they love you back there is no problem, things are simple, may become more complicated later but this is not the subject of this article.
The "problem" many people face is when someone falls in love with them, or they fall in love without response.

To my opinion and my experience there is absolutely no problem with this. Falling in love is the most natural thing in the world and happens all the time all over the world.

The way I see it, if someone falls in love with you this can raise your self-esteem, make you feel good just thinking that there is at least someone in the world who would love to be near you.


So unless there is a problem, a crazy or neurotic person who scares you, you can easily encourage them to feel what they feel and enjoy it, even if it's not something that interest you, a romantic or sexual relationship.

People in love can become very good friends. Unless, again, there is a psychological problem, someone who loves you can turn this lust to an unconditional love and this can be a benefit to both of you. It's the best growing method, to learn how to turn the "I want" to "I love and I offer".

Because, let's face it, not many people know how to really love.
If you observe yourself in relationships or your lovers in the past, you will see that there is much ego and a lot of demands after the first moments of bliss are gone when a romantic relationship starts. And this is not romantic at all.
After the first perfect moments, where everything is ideal, dysfunctions start appearing and the beautiful love affair becomes an everyday problem, often making you feel like going back to solitude.

And this is exactly the meaning of a long term relationship, it's not about owning each-other for life, not about sentencing the other to prison, your prison, but exactly the opposite. To slowly both feel free by living together, a step by step growing process where the ego is getting smaller and the care for each-other is getting bigger.

The difference with the friendship with someone who is in love with you or someone you are in love with, is that you can grow faster from "wanting" to "loving". If you accept a connection, then you have to accept the limits on this relationship. That no one of you has the right to ask for sexual connection, that a kiss or a hug, although it's raising emotions and sensations, these have to stay where they are and not find their way out. And the greatest challenge is to deal with these emotions, both of you, as something natural, something that is there and also something that gives you joy. To both of you.
And believe me, it's not only possible, it's also beautiful.
And this is my answer to the very common question, if there can be a friendship between people of different sex, yes it can, if these people decide to be conscious and make the best out of it. And it includes much bigger things than small talk and chit chat.

Of course if you have to deal with a person that has no consciousness to respect your decision and starts getting annoying or even dangerous then you have a real problem. If this happens to a reader of this article then most probably you have wrong people around you. While you are a seeker of truth and wisdom, you have around you unconscious and dangerous people and you allow them to abuse you.
In that case you have to wonder why do you have around you people who don't fit to you and what is the hidden benefit from this and finding this hidden benefit can help you find out what hidden childhood programs and patterns are running in the back of your mind.

But we will discuss this in another article.

So my conclusion is: love and let be loved. Don't suppress your emotions and your needs just because tradition says that it's not right. Make your Platonic lover feel good and enjoy their emotions.
And if there is no space to share your feelings, keep them for yourself, without shame and fear, feel in love, feel alive.

Love

Antonis

jailSpirituality became a fashion the last years because many self-improvement and new age movements, not only use the term but also create new modules and directions. But unlike religions and politics, spirituality is a personal and inner process, not something to show off or fight about it.

All religions include parts from previous religions, since people cannot change the way they are thinking even though a teacher said that they could. Funny enough many spiritual movements keep parts from religions, even though they have nothing to do with each other.

This is the limiting way of thinking.

So in many spiritual movements you will find bits (words, phrases or beliefs) that take away the unlimited character of the spirit and lower it down to earth.
Some of them are

Faith:
Faith means to believe in something you have been told. A teacher, a priest or if you are a child, grownups have told you something you have to take as truth. Something about God, about soul, about spirit or mostly about behavior. A very strong part of religions is that if you behave good you will have a great time after death. Unfortunately many spiritual and self-improvement teachers are using faith as the main ingredient of their teaching.
Spirituality is not about believing to the sacred, the holy or the divine, it is to connect to it. Actually it is to remember your real nature and slowly, or fast, it's up to you, to return to it. So faith fills your mind and heart with ready-made patterns and doesn't let you explore, make mistakes, experience and connect with the divine, which is what you are. But don't believe in my words, explore it yourself.

Positive thinking:
This has nothing to do with spirituality whatsoever. The only positive thinking you can do is remove your complaints and your victim attitude, not because you will go to hell but because it limits you. Positive thinking is a great limiting action, like a magic act where you keep repeating positive affirmations (magic spells) and lovely things happen (rubbish becomes gold). It's closer to "be a good child and stop cursing, than a way to get more spiritual.
Positive attitude is something else, the common sense "if someone was doing this to me would I like it?" is a guide to make your life better and more interesting. It's a tool that you can help you spiritually but not spirituality.

Universe:
Let's put things in order, universe is something that includes everything, in the limiting way of course. The universe is a place, big but not infinitive and this is exactly the difference from the spirit, it's limitations.
Also the universe is not something that will serve you or give you wonderful messages and instructions, it's more than media, a telephone through which you can get messages. And not all messages are good, you have to listen to your inner guidance and your intuition and not to take everything by faith (yes this again)
In two words you can compare the universe with the internet. They are both big and limited, have many things inside but not the whole, are full of details and can be dangerous if you believe what people tell you.

Karma:
This is another leftover from old religions, another limiting belief that tells you "be good or else". The same thing became heaven and hell in other religions, with many different names. Alright karma is something that comes to you soon, not in your next life, but this is also not very spiritual, if you break a law they made, and they catch you, you will be punished, we all know that.

Warrior:
Spiritual warrior? Are you serious? Crusade I understand, you believe in some ideas and you go to die for them. Well no, I don't understand it but anyway, you know what I mean. But a war for spirit is the most ridiculous thing anyone can imagine. It's like warrior for peace, for happiness, for better life and many more. No war will ever give you that, unless you will be the first in world history to manage it.
Spirit doesn't need and doesn't have warriors.

Reward:
This is big. Most people "perform" spirituality because they expect something from it. Either now or...later. And of course they play with magic, rituals and affirmations.
There is no reward, there is no life improvement, at least not as primary goal, there is nothing to expect.
Let's see the parallelism:
You are in jail,
Reward, you do something nice and get a cigarette.
Spirituality, jail doesn't exist even if you seem to be inside.

Love

Antonis

sad1I guess you all know the feeling, especially the highly sensitive and this for two reasons, because we feel more and because they know that we feel more.

So let's say that something happens in a moment that you don't feel flexible and one of your plans goes down the drain, let's say Facebook rejects some project of yours. And you feel completely helpless, in the mercy of some authority or someone who is in better conditions than you, or so you think.
(The "so you think" is because when someone else feels like a victim they would love to make you feel the same, so they are not in better condition).

There are a few things you can learn to do in these cases, to make things lighter and to be able to get out of this situation fast.

1. Enjoy the feeling. Let's face it, when you feel like a victim all the responsibilities are gone. You are in the hands of fate, or the monstrous victimizer, and you don't have to do anything, just relax in your situation and, of course, your terribly delightful feelings. Of course, you remind to yourself that this is not a real situation, but first you have to know it yourself.

2. Make fun with it. Find all the funny aspects of your condition, invent some too, and laugh, either alone or with people around you. If your humor includes the person who made you a victim, even better, you will not only go higher in your own eyes but in theirs too.

3. Don't do anything for a while. Unless there is a life-death situation, you can just relax and give time to yourself to do nothing, about the thing you lost or anything else.

4. Allow a reset for your plan. Often when something goes wrong, and we become victims, there is a sign that something is wrong with this plan. Re-think and re-plan.

5. Get very angry. If after all the previous steps you feel terribly and you need to have a victim yourself, don't use a real one, or if there is a real one then just pretend. Close your eyes and think of all the terrible things you want to do to this person. And I mean all of them, even the most dirty. Enjoy this too, like it's real. You will see how fast the whole thing will go away.

Of course, you have the usual ways, like go out for a walk, talk to your coach or your best friend, persist on your plan until you manage, but these are too obvious, and we all know how to do them. Or do we?

But whatever you do, don't panic... and if you panic just enjoy that too.

Love

Antonis

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